What Happens When We Practice Softness Together

Entering Eden

I’m just back from Berlin leading a Strala Yoga training. We’ve been doing this for 11 years in Berlin, always coming back to the same place. It’s called Eden, and this time, maybe because I’m very busy doing so much that it takes a decade for things to really soak in, felt like I was in Eden, the possible-to-create-goodness-for-real-in-real-life version.

Eden is a rehearsal space for dance and music, with a cafe and garden where we co-exist sustainably, peacefully, and inspiringly with others during our time there. I always come a few days early to cruise by and pick up the key from whoever is at the cafe. I walk around and breathe in the flowers, admire the compost in the back, and see what perfectly disheveled graffiti on the outside of the building is reflecting the culture of the moment.

From the outside, you’d miss the whole thing, and so is life, really. But once we go in, the space is ready for us to soften, expand, and do more.

The manager of the space lets us keep coming back because she says our people are always nice, we clean up after ourselves, and we don’t create or leave waste. We use the glass coffee cups from the cafe and bring them back to the kitchen. We pack our lunches and bring reusable containers. We sit on the grass to eat and talk to anyone else who occupies the space.

We do our practice and workshops in the space from 9am to 5pm, and everyone walking by can feel the softness, ease, and smiles around us. A fox hung around our space for the week. Our practice is centered on taking good care of ourselves so we can extend goodness to others.

Why Softness Works

We understand, through feeling it ourselves, that we are all connected and so similar, creating excitement and a craving to be around people different from ourselves. Our group is always incredibly diverse in ages, backgrounds, body types, life experiences, skin colors, languages spoken, and countries lived in, all of this exciting to each other.

We are healthiest, and we can relax and be ourselves, when we are surrounded in a jungle of diversity. For some, this kind of group is very different from their typical day, and it gives a sigh of relief and excitement. For some, learning how to drop rigidity is a lifelong journey.

For all of us, we feel a great expansion of wellbeing through connection when we continually practice being in alignment with ourselves, finding the right body position to be around everyone else, not just in our practice time, but all the time.

Our practice is rooted in the foundations found in tai chi, shiatsu, and the healing arts, remembered by all of us in the way universal wisdom is partly something to learn and practice, and partly something we reconnect to, a feeling of goodness that has always been there.

There is no hierarchy, no pretending, but practice: connecting to what’s going on, awareness practice of physical, mental, and emotional looking inward so we are stable enough to use our gifts for good everywhere we go.

My goal has always been to be around people different from me, from all around the world, and find a way to be with people and use my gifts for good. Somehow, the people found me.

I don’t feel like I’m doing it in any way that I should be clapped for, because I receive so much reward in how this practice and these people make me feel. It feels good to practice making a good connection with yourself around people. That’s the basis for leading.

Anything else is coming out of yourself to prove and manipulate, even with the best intentions, and this is the direct path toward burnout.

Leading is being the experience you aim to give to others, guiding step by step how to get where you are going, while giving most of your attention to the people you are leading, to see them, allow them to be seen, connect, and make your best guess on how to connect well.

The People

I grew up loving the TV show Cheers, and I have that in my life now with a global group of people all around the world. We swap out the alcohol for softness, but we are all unique, and everyone knows your name.

In this group we had Oliver, who survived war in Rwanda and found his way through living and sharing a peaceful life. He has lived through traumas most of us will only see through movies and read about in books. If he can soften, we all can. Watch him here and feel the peace within.

We had a lovely woman who works for the UN who shared how burnout is worked into their schedule. The organization anticipates when it will come and ships people off to a chill-out zone, and it’s common for everyone to get sick on day two of their “break.” She is excited to bring softness into her life so she can serve people more without burning out. I know her approach can help change this cycle of burnout for so many.

We had many yoga guides, studio owners, business leaders, a mom who participated in the week nine months pregnant and just gave birth to a healthy baby girl two days ago while wearing her RELAX shirt I gave her.

We had Mohammad, an Ashtanga refugee, who sought another practice after surviving rigidity and childhood abuse. He was told he had too much energy and suffered because of that. We often find a practice that matches the style of abuse we suffer. But now he was ready to find a better way. Over the days, his body felt safe, and he no longer needed to hang on to rigidity to achieve.

A woman with severe sciatica reported after the week that her back feels 90% better, and she has tried everything else. She knows with continued practice a full recovery is in her future.

Another woman quit drinking Coke, which had been her daily habit. She quit without trying over these days. She felt more connected, and instead of using willpower, she didn’t even find herself reaching for something that didn’t add to her wellbeing.

There is so much more incredibleness, and it all sounds like magic, but it’s really, the practice of softness, together.

None of these results were things I was trying to make happen from the beginning, and none of them are things I promise. We focus on the process of mobilizing, connecting breath and body, moving well in harmony, unweighting, and in that process, so much happens.

Let’s Start Now

I felt more connected this time as the group leader. I felt energized, plugged in, and aware of so much within and around me. I was efficient in my time management, clear-headed, able to sleep well, able to enjoy what everyone was sharing, and never hurried, rushed, or worried.

This practice of softness works.

I share this not to brag about how great we are, but to remind you of how great you are, and invite you to be part of it.

Let’s start now.

Soften.

Watch your breath move you.

Notice how you feel.

Respond to what you find with care.

This is a beginning, but also a continuing. Do this while sitting and relaxing, then start to take it into places that challenge you, first your movement practice, then the real challenges.

With practice, like muscle memory, softness will be right there to support you, so you can use your gifts for good.

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Join us In Person

Effingham Illinois. Join us on Saturdays (when I’m in town) for an easy going Energize Yoga class. I’m so excited to be a part of this midwestern, artsy community. If you’re making a trip out of it, send me a note and I’ll send you all the good spots to visit!

RSVP your space

Kansas City, MO. July 25-26. I’m so excited to offer our weekend intensive a little closer to home for so many in our community. Join us at Maya Yoga, July 25-26 for the Strala Weekend 20+Hour Intensive. RSVP your space here.

Amsterdam, Netherlands. September 19-20. It’s a homecoming for sure to Amsterdam. We’ve been a couple times a year for many years and this will be my first time back since the pandemic. It will be so good to see everyone. Amsterdam is a great city with great people to visit if you want to make a trip out of it! RSVP your space here.

Weekend of Softness, Metzingen, Germany, Sept 26-27. I’m joining longtime Strala Guide and partner studio owner Anna Rampf, to celebrate our community in a weekend of softness and connection. You’ll love Metzingen, it’s so nice. RSVP here.